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I write. I write quite a lot. I write quite a lot of bollox that nobody ever reads! This is a collection of some of the stuff I've written over the many long and painful years of my life! Some of it is not too bad, most of it is bollox and will never get that gold star...
Read on and maybe it will appeal to you... on the other hand....
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| The Weston Chronicles |
This might be hard to explain, but here goes...
One night, a group of us went off to some dark wood type place with a lake after a night out on the town. After the excursion to aforementioned woods, I had the most bizarre dream about all things wierd. The Weston Chronicles are based on said dream and make no real sense at all except to those people the characters within the story were based on. It is littered with in-jokes, references to random events and heavy metal bands, observations that only certain people know about and other items that would make no sense to anyone other that the people in this paper. Still, some of it might make you smile. Like most of my work, this is unfinished and I've been slowly adding to it over the past 10 years! |
 The Weston Chronicles |
| Various scribblings... |
| These are really quite random offerings, mostly written on the spur of the moment in times of sheer bordem and I believe all three of them were written in a hotel room in some far off distant land. A typical tale of me starting something and not finishing it! |
| Age of Darkness - I really cant remember where I wrote this, but I have the sneaking suspicion it was in a hotel room in the US . Don't think it took all that long either and as you read through it, it shows... |
 Age of Darkness |
| The Secret Diary of Billy Dixon - Not sure what I was trying to do here. Kind of took bits of my own life and observations and added some things I cant do or would never do into the mix to create a fictional knobend really. |
| The secret diary of Billy Dixon |
| Deep Space - I was seriously bored one weekend and after watching a string of Star Trek Voyager videos, was compelled to write this. Never really went back to it though - I have to be in the mood to write stuff like this and I haven't been in the mood since I wrote it... |
| Deep Space |
| Lyrical... |
| They speak for themselves! A collection of well known (And not so well known...) songs that have gone under the surgeons knife, so to speak. Brought together for the first time on the internet - they represent years of standing in rock clubs passing time between the track you want and the 15 you don't. Needless to say, they chart the history of a bitter and twisted mind, namely, mine! |
| Baby one more time - Sung to Britney Spears - Baby one more time |
| Can I play with hamsters - Parody of Iron Maidens 'Can I play with Madness' |
| Rime of the ancient hamster - Iron Maiden again with parody of Rime of the Ancient Mariner |
| Run to the wheels - Another Iron Maiden song - Run to the Hills |
| Walking in my cage - Depeche Mode - Walking in my Shoes |
| Carries Frightening - Parody of Metallica - Ride the Lightening |
| Chicken wings - Sisters of Mercy Parody of Vision Thing |
| Circle of fuck - Sisters of Mercy Parody of Temple of Love |
| Enter sadman - Parody of Metallica - Enter Sandman |
| Flattened - Parody of Metallica - Blackened |
| Hedgehogs get splattered - Parody of Metallica - Nothing Else Matters |
| Lost in bath - Obituary - Chopped in half (This was difficult, they don't exactly say much) |
| Multistory fairground ride - Slayer - Mandatory Suicide |
| No more hair to comb - Parody of Metallica - Wherever I may Roam |
| Orgasmic Ron - Sepultira - Orgasmatron (The first of my lyrics to be known..) |
| Red Shampoo - Parody of Metallica - Sad but True |
| Smuggling Gin - Parody of Metallica - Struggle Within |
| Symphony of Lunchtime - Megadeth - Countdown to Extinction (Another well known parody, at the Astoria anyway) |
| This Frustration - Sisters of Mercy Parody of This Corrosion |
| Dung - Parody of Metallica - One |
| Livin' la vida poka - Ricky Martin (???? WTF ????) Well, I was bored! |
| DM Barricade - Spoof of Spandau Ballet's Through the Barricades (Based around APOTA UT Clan) |
| Penguins Cry - Spoof of Dolphins Cry by Live (Based around APOTA UT Clan) |
| ** I make no apologies for the content contained herein. Most of these were actually concieved a long time ago - the early to mid 1990's in fact, when I was still an emerging 'adult'. Granted, some are a bit strong and most are completely stupid but, as someone once said, "It's just a bit of fun". Enjoy. |
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